D’Amore Family Program
Orange County Mental Health Treatment Center
September 28, 2019
3:30 PM – 8 PM
A Special Event For Friends & Family
Join us for D’Amore’s Monthly Family Saturday event where you’ll meet others learning how to become more effective support systems to a loved one recovering from mental illness and addiction. Come together to find support in a friendly, intimate setting while gaining tools to apply to your own relationships. Together, we will learn how to engage in productive communication and supportive behaviors while learning how to show ourselves and each other Gracious Redundancy®. The day’s discussion topics include:
Creating Mental Health Takes Work
Teamwork – No One Fights Alone
What is Love
4 Ways to Overcome Stigma
Gratitude, Values and Goals
16541 Gothard Street Suite 206
Huntington Beach, California 92647
Chili, coffee, cookies & compassion provided
Visit Our Website To Learn More
Recommended Material to Prepare (Optional): Boundaries Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Healthy Support System
Because the Family needs support too
We include patient support systems in our work. Since loved ones will ask us, “Should I come to the D’Amore Family Event next month? Traveling is an expense that will stretch us.” Without hesitation, our resounding answer is “Yes!” D’Amore’s integrated care, addressing co-occurring mental health conditions or substance use disorders can help the family unit get stronger together. This investment of time and energy will not only supercharge the patient’s recovery and self-efficacy but yours too.
Codependency in Addiction and Mental Health
Codependency is a relationship where one person has extreme physical or emotional needs, and the codependent person feels pressure to cater to those needs. This often leads the codependent person to neglect themselves and others around them. Codependency often results in codependent adopting the problems of the afflicted person and as a result, allowing them to maintain their destructive behaviors.
Signs of a Codependent Relationship:
- A codependent person can develop low self-esteem and depend on their partner’s approval to derive their self-worth
- They value other people’s feelings over their own. The codependent will be a “people pleaser” and go out of their way to stay in their partner’s good graces. If they don’t, they will feel intense guilt.
- A codependent will often take on the role of the caretaker. They may only feel fulfilled if they are taking care of the needs of others.
- They will often lack boundaries. Codependent people may offer unwanted advice, internalize other people’s feelings, or try to manipulate the behavior of others.
- Codependents are often preoccupied with relationships. They may feel like they are defined by relationships, and become obsessive towards their interactions with others.
Being a part of a family means helping each other through hard times. But when addiction and mental illness corrupt this natural instinct, the best intentions can contribute to harmful behavior. Enabling means doing for others what they cannot do for themselves. The distinction between helping an addict or a person with a mental health disorder and enabling them is very subtle. Enabling differs from helping because it allows the afflicted person to be irresponsible. Enabling behavior often protects people from experiencing the consequences of their bad behavior.
Are you an Enabler? Have you ever:
- Protected the person from the consequences of their behavior
- Kept secrets for the person in order to save them from repercussions
- Made excuses for the person to their family, friends, employer, teacher or the authorities.
- Bailed the person out of trouble with financial support
- Blamed other people for the person’s bad behaviors
- Blamed other issues for the person’s problems
- Ignored the person’s behavior in order to avoid trouble
- Gave the person money that they didn’t deserve or work for
- Tried to control aspects of the person’s life (friends, activities, job)
- Gave the person an ultimatum but didn’t follow through with the consequences
Family Counseling has yielded positive outcomes in adults and adolescents. It is used to treat addiction issues and other co-occurring problems. It has been helpful in treating conduct disorders, depression, anxiety, and family conflict. Family Counselors encourage families to apply the techniques that they learned in therapy sessions to improve their family systems. Patients are taught to develop behavioral goals for preventing substance abuse and other unhealthy behaviors. During each counseling session, these goals are reviewed and rewards are provided when they are accomplished. Patients and their families participate in treatment planning and choose the specific therapeutic methodology for their needs.
Benefits of Family Counseling:
- Learn to work through the chaos of the past
- Build healthy boundaries
- Learn to rebuild trusting relationships
- Develop better communication skills
- Learn to detach with love
Family Support Groups
Parents or family members of a person with an addiction or mental illness sometimes struggle to adjust to the influx of emotions and stress that arise during the treatment process. For many family members, trying to support a loved one leads to feelings of frustration and helplessness. During this difficult time, it is important to identify sources of reliable support. Family support groups are a great place to meet other people who are experiencing similar challenges. Sometimes the best support comes from people who have struggled with and overcome the same issues that these family members are facing.
Al-Anon is a worldwide fellowship that provides a program of recovery for the families and friends of people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. They help codependent people overcome their issues and learn to support their loved ones.
Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) is a Christian-run non-profit based on one founding phrase: “People helping people through the woods.” PAL meetings are usually held weekly and provide support for parents who have children that are addicted to drugs or alcohol.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provides support groups for family members of anyone who has experienced the symptoms of a mental health condition. Membership is free, and the weekly group is designed for adult family members.
A relapse occurs when a person who has achieved a measure of sobriety slips up and uses drugs or alcohol again. Relapses, while unfortunate, are considered a normal part of the recovery process. A relapse can be a single drink or a dangerous downward spiral towards death. The difference between these two extremes is how honest and willing the addict is. Oftentimes the guilt and shame of losing a sobriety date sends an addict on that downward spiral. Rather than treating these instances as an end of a road, relapses should be treated as a misstep on the road to recovery. A relapse indicates that addiction treatment should be begun again or adjusted. Relapse prevention techniques can help a person to decrease the occurrence and severity of relapses.
Ways to Avoid a Relapse:
- Get enough sleep.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Exercise regularly.
- Manage stress with Yoga or Meditation
- Attend all therapy and counseling sessions.
- Join a support group and attend meetings regularly.
- Take prescribed medications as directed.
- Make sure co-occurring disorders are managed.
- Avoid people, places, or things tied to previous drug use.
- Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
- Take up a creative endeavor, like painting, sculpting, or writing.
- Try not to expect too much from others.
- Keep the mind occupied.
- Ask for help when needed.